


Omaha Tiger

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28723425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Starsky and Hutch investigate a series of suspicious deaths at a professional wrestling coliseum.
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	Omaha Tiger

OMAHA TIGER 

Season 1, Episode 18

Original Airdate: January 28, 1976

Written by: Edward J. Lasko  
Directed by: Don Weis  
Created by: William Blinn

Summary: Starsky and Hutch investigate a series of suspicious deaths at a professional wrestling coliseum. 

Cast: 

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson  
Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky  
Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear  
Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey  
Dennis Burkley ... Eddie Bell  
Barbara Babcock ... Ellen Forbes  
Wynn Irwin ... Al Taft  
Mary Jo Catlett ... Terrible Tessie  
James Luisi ... Carl Boyce  
Thayer David ... George Felton  
Robert J. Wilke ... Mac Johnson (as Bob Wilkie)  
Nicholas Worth ... Barnes  
Richard Kiel ... Iggy  
Christian Grey ... Harold 

Exterior - Day - In the Torino

STARSKY: Where's he going?  
  
HUTCH: If you ever catch him, you can ask him.  
  
STARSKY: If I ever catch him, I won't have to ask him. 

Interior & Exterior - Day - Cafe

COOK: Hey, what's going on?  
  
STARSKY: About 20 more minutes and a dash of oregano.  
  
HUTCH: Ah, Fireball.  
  
FIREBALL: All right. Kill me, kill me.  
  
HUTCH: What for? Shoplifting.  
  
FIREBALL: Shoplifting to you. It's a violation of parole for me. That's two years back in the joint. Go ahead and shoot.  
  
STARSKY: No, no. And spoil our plans to go to wrestling matches.  
  
FIREBALL: You're not gonna shoot?  
  
HUTCH: Well, look at it this way, Fireball, we're gonna do you a favour. I mean, I wouldn't be caught dead in a dress like that.  
  
STARSKY: I don't you. You'd look rather nice in basic black and pearls.  
  
HUTCH: What the hell happened to you?  
  
STARSKY: Don't ask. Come on.

Interior - Night - Olympic Auditorium  
  
STARSKY: What do you mean, nothing? I mean, did you really get a good look at that, huh?  
  
HUTCH: Sure.  
  
STARSKY: I mean, did you see the way the guy went flying out of the ring and ended up in the third row?  
  
HUTCH: Which guy?  
  
STARSKY: Oh, come on.  
  
HUTCH: No, wait a minute, Starsk. You see happens is you get some Idaho picker potato picker in here, you give him a funny name and a fancy pair of tights and a bottle of ketchup.  
  
STARSKY: A bottle of ketchup?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah, you teach him to spit and groan and fly around the ring.  
  
STARSKY: Fly around the ring? No, you wait one second, man. That was an execution of a perfect flying drop kick. Now, that was art.  
  
HUTCH: Starsky, I went to college.  
  
STARSKY: What?  
  
HUTCH: That is not art.  
  
STARSKY: What are you talking about?  
  
HUTCH: That's effort. Effort. It takes that much effort to get that much blubber out of the ring.  
  
STARSKY: Yeah, you know what your problem is.  
  
HUTCH: What?  
  
STARSKY: Not only are you jealous.  
  
HUTCH: Jealous?  
  
STARSKY: Don't deny it. You're also some kind of dilettante.  
  
HUTCH: What?  
  
STARSKY: You heard me. There's a lot of art involved there. I mean, these guys aren't only great athletes, they happen to be great actors. I mean, they got great imaginations. They got great balance. They're nimble and they are fleet of foot.  
  
HUTCH: And fake. Hey, Starsk, come here. Starsk. Starsk.  
  
STARSKY: What?  
  
HUTCH: I wanna show you something.  
  
STARSKY: What are you doing now?  
  
HUTCH: You ready?  
  
STARSKY: For what? Hey! That's not funny. Come on.  
  
JOHNSON: Hey, what is this? The main event?  
  
HUTCH: Hey, Mac.  
  
STARSKY: Hey, Mac.  
  
JOHNSON: I didn't know you could wrestle, Hutch.  
  
HUTCH: Oh, it isn't much.  
  
STARSKY: He doesn't like to brag. Claims he won intercollegiate wrestling for two years.  
  
HUTCH: Three years. Three.  
  
STARSKY: Okay.  
  
HUTCH: Okay.  
  
STARSKY: Well, what's a broken knee and a sweaty armpit or two?  
  
JOHNSON: Sorry to keep you boys waiting for so long. I had to collect some money from my stands.  
  
HUTCH: Oh, you're getting rich, huh, Mac?  
  
JOHNSON: Eh. It beats beating a beat.  
  
STARSKY: That's good, Mac.  
  
HUTCH: He's a poet.  
  
STARSKY: Really.  
  
JOHNSON: Hey, how's Dobey?  
  
STARSKY: He's okay. Keeps asking after you.  
  
JOHNSON: Is he still putting on weight?  
  
STARSKY: Well, last time he got on the scales, he broke them.  
  
JOHNSON: You know about a 109 years ago when I was a young cop, this was my beat. Later on, I broke Dobey in on it.  
  
HUTCH: Mac-  
  
JOHNSON: Oh. I guess I told you about that before haven't I?  
  
STARSKY: Yeah, about 109 times. Hey, that's the, um-  
  
JOHNSON: The Omaha Tiger.  
  
STARSKY: Yeah, I hardly recognise him.  
  
HUTCH: Well, you see Starsky, you put a sport coat on a tiger and you got a pussy cat.  
  
JOHNSON: Hey, Eddie, come here a minute. I want you to meet some old friends of mine.  
  
TAFT: Not now, Johnson, huh?  
  
JOHNSON: Eddie, this is Starsky.  
  
BELL: How are ya?  
  
STARSKY: Hey.  
  
JOHNSON: This is Hutch.  
  
STARSKY: You were terrific.   
  
BELL: Nice to meet you.  
  
JOHNSON: Everything went according to plan, right, Taft?  
  
TAFT: Eddie and I got things to talk about.  
  
JOHNSON: Sure. Gonna go all the way with the tiger, right?  
  
TAFT: Yeah, right.  
  
BELL: Hey, why don't you stop riding him, okay?  
  
JOHNSON: Because he's on your back, Eddie. But you don't know it yet.  
  
TAFT: We don't have to listen to this. Come on.  
  
HUTCH: Hey, Mac. Got some kind of a beef with the manager?  
  
JOHNSON: Al Taft? He's a parasite. I've seen him use up a lot of Eddies over the years. And when it's all done, Taft ends up with the Cadillacs, the Eddies end up in a car wash.  
  
HUTCH: Yeah.  
  
JOHNSON: Incidentally, you guys know anything about an accident a couple of nights ago, a guy named Carnieri. Went over a cliff in his truck.  
  
STARSKY: No, what about it?  
  
JOHNSON: I may have something on it for you. Meet me tomorrow morning at 10:00 in the owner's office. Her name is Ellen Forbes.  
  
HUTCH: See ya, Mac.  
  
STARSKY: Take it easy.  
  
HUTCH: Great guy, huh?  
  
STARSKY: Wanna go and fall?  
  
HUTCH: No.  
  
STARSKY: What's the matter, you chicken?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah. 

Interior - Day - Olympic Auditorium  
  
STARSKY: Um, excuse me.  
  
TESSIE: Hello, cutie.  
  
HUTCH: Uh, excuse me. We're looking to Ellen Forbes' office.  
  
TESSIE: Oh, yeah. Right this way.  
  
STARSKY: Hey, Hutch, look at that.  
  
TESSIE: Full nelson. Half nelson.  
  
STARSKY: When they do it, is it a quarter nelson?  
  
TESSIE: Oh, he's a wit.  
  
HUTCH: Only half.  
  
TESSIE: Are you two cops?  
  
STARSKY: Yeah. How'd you know?  
  
TESSIE: I felt your gun and I figured you were here to investigate the accident.  
  
HUTCH: What accident?  
  
TESSIE: A guy named Mac Johnson fell down a flight of stairs. Found him dead this morning.  
  
HUTCH: What?  
  
STARSKY: Where?  
  
TESSIE: Section E, near the hot dog stand. Want me to show you?  
  
HUTCH: No, we'll find it.  
  
STARSKY: Thanks. Hey.  
  
HUTCH: Hold up a minute.  
  
STARSKY: Ellen Forbes? One second, please? You are Ellen Forbes?  
  
FORBES: Yes. Oh, we've already talked to the police.  
  
STARSKY: Yes, well, we'd like to ask you some questions. You see, Mac Johnson asked us to meet him at your office this morning.  
  
FORBES: He did?  
  
STARSKY: Yeah. He didn't mention it to you?  
  
FORBES: No.  
  
BOYCE: I'm Carl Boyce. How do you do?  
  
FORBES: I'm sorry. This is my business manager.  
  
BOYCE: Did he say what it was that he wanted to talk to Miss Forbes about?  
  
STARSKY: Yeah. About an accident that happened a few days ago. A truck went over a cliff. A guy by the name of Carnieri was involved.  
  
BOYCE: Carnieri?  
  
FORBES: I've never heard of the man.  
  
STARSKY: Mr. Boyce?  
  
BOYCE: I don't know. I don't know who he was either. See you.  
  
HUTCH: Um, do you know about what time the accident happened?  
  
FORBES: Well, Carl and I left around-  
  
BOYCE: It was around 11. Charlie? How long is it gonna take to get this place cleaned up. Come on, get these guys moving. Sorry. Excuse me.  
  
FORBES: As far as I know Mac was fine then.  
  
HUTCH: What time did Mac usually close his concessions?  
  
BOYCE: Around 11:30. He was the last one to leave, usually too.  
  
FORBES: He must have just lost his footing in the dark and-  
  
STARSKY: It's all right. Thank you, Mrs. Forbes.  
  
BOYCE: Thank you.  
  
STARSKY: What's his name?  
  
HUTCH: Boyce.  
  
STARSKY: Boyce.  
  
HUTCH: Starsk, how can people be so insensitive?  
  
STARSKY: Really.  
  
TAFT: We'll get you a rubdown, then we got this 1:00 with a tv reporter Get a nice spread in the magazine.  
  
STARSKY: Eddie? 

BELL: Hey, what's shaking?  
  
STARSKY: What you doing?  
  
TAFT: Same old routine.  
  
HUTCH: Business as usual, huh?  
  
TAFT: Life's gotta go on, right?   
  
STARSKY: Not for Mac Johnson.  
  
BELL: Hey, look, up front I want something understood. I liked Mac Johnson, but I'm really busy now and I don't have time to fool with it.  
  
TAFT: Okay, all right, now you hear where he's coming from. We got a million things to do. Now, you finished with us.  
  
HUTCH: Now, wait, wait, wait a minute. I want you to hear this. I used to wrestle in college. I know what you've got here. Now, you're rolling and you're rolling. And nobody has any time to spend over a dead man. Especially a man somebody didn't like.  
  
BELL: Hey, I like everybody.  
  
TAFT: Mac Johnson didn't like me, okay.  
  
STARSKY: Hey, come on now. Let's just take it easy, huh? Slow it down. Okay?  
  
HUTCH: All right. Whatever works for you guys.  
  
BELL: Look, I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to help let me know, okay? Why don't you come down and we'll go a few falls sometime. You know, legit style.  
  
HUTCH: Afraid I wouldn't be much competition for you, Eddie.  
  
STARSKY: What are you talking about? I think that's a terrific idea. Well, you yourself said that these guys weren't really wrestlers.  
  
BELL: Don't worry. I'll take it easy on you. It wouldn't be right, you know? Bruise a peace officer.  
  
TAFT: Yeah, yeah.  
  
HUTCH: Right.  
  
TAFT: Okay, now. Can we go?  
  
STARSKY: Sure.  
  
TAFT: Let's go, Eddie.  
  
HUTCH: Thanks, partner.  
  
STARSKY: Anytime. Why do I get the feeling it's like watching a Christian head for the lions.  
  
HUTCH: Taft?  
  
STARSKY: Yeah.  
  
HUTCH: You know, I'm beginning to feel that Mac was right about him.  
  
STARSKY: You thinking maybe Mac got pushed down those stairs?  
  
HUTCH: I'm think maybe he was dead before he was pushed down the stairs. 

Interior - Day - Police Squad Room

HUTCH: (on phone) You tell Pathology I wanna know now, not tomorrow. Yeah, and transfer me to 650, will ya?  
  
STARSKY: Thanks. Got an address on Carnieri. 518 South Ninth Street.  
  
HUTCH: Yeah.  
  
STARSKY: He ran a laundry.  
  
HUTCH: Yeah, doc? Yeah. You're sure? Listen, one more question about the bruise on the neck. Yeah, okay, doc. Thanks a lot.  
  
STARSKY: What about the bruise?  
  
HUTCH: Well, Mac died of a brain concussion. But there is a pressure point just above the motor nerve.  
  
STARSKY: Carnieri had the same thing?  
  
HUTCH: Pathology's gonna check it out and call us back.  
  
STARSKY: Can you really kill somebody that way?  
  
HUTCH: If you have the hands for it.  
  
STARSKY: Mac couldn't have gotten that bruise from falling down the stairs?  
  
HUTCH: Mac came to us with information about Carnieri's accident and then Mac has an accident. Starsky, the coincidences stink.  
  
STARSKY: Well, if Pathology calls back with the right answer, we got a murder on our hands.  
  
HUTCH: Yeah. 

Interior - Day - Olympic Auditorium  
  
TAILOR: Tessie, how can I fit this thing properly if you don't stop undulating? Tessie!  
  
TESSIE: Hi, sugarplum. Wanna go two out of three falls?  
  
STARSKY: No fair, Tess. I got no cape.  
  
TESSIE: Yeah, I bet you got everything else you need.  
  
STARSKY: Yeah. Ah, just one question, Tessie.  
  
TESSIE: Oh, call me Terrible.  
  
STARSKY: Terrible, okay. Look, the guy who died, Mac Johnson, did he ever have any problems? I mean, did he ever have any arguments with any of the people around here?  
  
TESSIE: Eddie. And Al Taft. Something about those two guys got under his skin.  
  
HUTCH: Ah, ah, Tessie, one more question. This guy standing against the wall over here keeps glaring at Starsky. Who is he?  
  
STARSKY: Oh, wait a second. I know who that guy is. That guy is the Russian Mummy. He's the guy that throw the referee into the third row.  
  
TESSIE: He does that sometimes when he gets riled. He thought that I was flirting with the ref before the bout.  
  
STARSKY: No kidding.  
  
HUTCH: Oh, he's your boyfriend, huh?  
  
TESSIE: Oh, I like to keep him guessing. I like to keep all my men guessing.  
  
STARSKY: Yeah. Tess, it's been a pleasure. I wanna thank you very much.  
  
TESSIE: Anytime, dumpling. And don't worry about Iggy. He may look mean but I wouldn't let him hurt a cutie-pie like you.  
  
HUTCH: What'd you wanna bet she made the same promise to the referee.  
  
STARSKY: Let's get out of here. 

FORBES: I know this is very short notice Mr- Felton, is it?  
  
FELTON: That's right. George Felton. And don't worry, I'll have my lawyer draw up the necessary legal paper's with Johnson's lawyer and I'll have the food concessions operational by the time you open tonight.  
  
FORBES: What about Mr. Johnson's people? I'd hate to have them lose their jobs.  
  
FELTON: Don't worry. I'm keeping them all on.  
  
FORBES: Oh, good.  
  
HUTCH: Oh, excuse me.  
  
BOYCE: Back again?  
  
STARSKY: Yeah, gotta throw a few more questions.  
  
FORBES: Oh, I'm sorry. This is Mr. Felton. Detectives Starsky and Hutchinson.  
  
FELTON: How do you do?  
  
STARSKY: Hiya.  
  
HUTCH: How you doing, Mr. Felton? You connected with this organisation?  
  
FELTON: Yes, I've taken over Mac Johnson's concessions.  
  
BOYCE: Gentleman, we have a lot of business to take care of. Listen, I thought we'd answered all your questions.  
  
HUTCH: Yeah, well, as a matter of fact, we're back again because we don't think Mac Johnson's death was accidental.  
  
FELTON: If you'll excuse me, I've got plenty to do to get ready for tonight. Excuse me, Gentleman-  
  
FORBES: Yes, of course.  
  
FELTON: Nice to have met you.  
  
GUARD: Trouble?  
  
FELTON: Those to cops aren't buying Johnson's accident. If they keep it up, we're gonna have to be very creative when we plan their accident.  
  
  
Interior - Day - Training Gym  
  
STARSKY: There he is.  
  
HUTCH: Hey, Ed  
  
BELL: Hey. Come down to wrestle me?  
  
HUTCH: Ah, no, no. Came down to ask you a few more questions.  
  
TAFT: Hey, Eddie, can I see you for a minute?  
  
BELL: Excuse me just a minute, okay?  
  
HUTCH: Sure.  
  
STARSKY: Sure. Why don't you wrestle him?  
  
HUTCH: Well, why don't you wrestle him?  
  
STARSKY: You're the one with the experience.  
  
HUTCH: Yeah, well, it was your idea.  
  
STARSKY: So, we take my idea and your experience, mix them up and you go in there and see what makes him tick. Come on, be a sport.  
  
HUTCH: Okay. 

STARSKY: Attaboy.  
  
TAFT: Eddie, Listen, you're letting Johnson's death last night upset you.  
  
BELL: I said, get away from me.  
  
TAFT: We gotta settle this.  
  
BELL: It's settled.  
  
STARSKY: Lead with your left, keep your chin in.  
  
HUTCH: Starsky, this is wrestling, not boxing.  
  
STARSKY: Oh, then keep your chin up.  
  
BELL: Changed your mind?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah, Ed, sure. Well, it's as good a way as any to find out about Mac Johnson.  
  
STARSKY: Go in and do it, kid.  
  
HUTCH: Yeah.  
  
STARSKY: Want me to say 'go'? Oh, well, while you two waltz each other around, I'll go call pathology.  
  
HUTCH: Now, you wouldn't bruise a peace officer, would you, Eddie?   
  
BELL: You ready?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah. What do you know about Mac Johnson?  
  
BELL: What about him?  
  
HUTCH: The two of you didn't get along too well, did you?  
  
BELL: He didn't bother me.  
  
HUTCH: Mac gave you a hard time about Al Taft, didn't he?  
  
BELL: Al's just my manager. He doesn't know me. I told Johnson that. Nobody owns me. Just business. I got a right to better myself, don't I? Don't I?  
  
HUTCH: Eddie, Eddie.  
  
STARSKY: Eddie!  
  
BELL: Why do we have to talk about it? I don't wanna talk about it. You did good. That's it for me today.  
  
STARSKY: You okay?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah. Immortality, huh?  
  
STARSKY: Well, you almost got there.  
  
HUTCH: Boy, he's a hard guy to figure.  
  
STARSKY: Yeah. Half kid, half man.  
  
HUTCH: Half horse.  
  
STARSKY: He's likeable.  
  
HUTCH: It's just hard to figure out where he's coming from.  
  
STARSKY: He's all mixed up inside. You notice the way he looks at Ellen Forbes?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah. She's not too difficult to look at. Wonder what he and Al Taft were arguing about. Well, what'd you hear on Carnieri?  
  
STARSKY: Nothing much. Just a funny little bruise on the side of his neck. 

Exterior - Day - Carnieri's Laundry

STARSKY: Excuse me. Should only deliver this fast.  
  
HUTCH: Oh!  
  
STARSKY: What's the matter?  
  
HUTCH: I think Eddie bent my spirit a little.  
  
STARSKY: Oh, gonna call Dobey?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah. This is Zebra 3; patch me through to Captain Dobey, please.  
  
POLICE DISPATCHER: Zebra 3, Captain Dobey is in a meeting with the commissioner and cannot be disturbed.  
  
HUTCH: Well, then take a request for information, please.  
  
POLICE DISPATCHER: Roger, Zebra 3. Go ahead.  
  
HUTCH: Captain, this is Hutch. We just spoke with Carnieri's widow. It seems he was being pressured into selling his laundry to a company by the name of Belladon or Bellaman, something like that. Would you check it out? End of message.  
  
STARSKY: Hey.  
  
HUTCH: What?  
  
STARSKY: Carnieri's widow said that he was into long shots. What does that make you think of?  
  
HUTCH: De Pew's Meat Plant.  
  
GUARD: Listen, those two cops, they just came out of Carnieri's place. I don't know. Okay, I'll get back to you. They're getting too close. He wants us to make our move. 

Exterior - Day - DePew's Meat Plant  
  
STARSKY: You got any idea what Huggy's doing here?  
  
HUTCH: Nope. 

STARSKY: Well, that's good. 

Interior - Day - DePew's Meat Plant

STARSKY: Whatever he's doing, business sure looks lousy.  
  
ANNOUNCER: Okay, they're at the gates. The flag is up and they're off. Come on, Cheese Biscuit. All right, and the winner is Cheese Biscuit. All right, the winner is Cheese Biscuit. Red.  
  
HUGGY: Nobody on Cheese Biscuit? What a pity. Well, welcome to Rodent Downs, gentleman. Just a friendly game of chance amongst friends.  
  
STARSKY: Mouse races?  
  
HUTCH: I don't believe it.  
  
HUGGY: Well, you ever try to get 10 horses in a basement. How would you like to make a little wager?  
  
HUTCH: Huggy, we need your help. Come here.  
  
HUGGY: Well, don't bet on Mouse of War in the next race. He's a dog.  
  
HUTCH: No, no, no. Not that kind of help. We'd like you to see what you can find out about a man named Carnieri. He ran a laundry over Ninth Street.  
  
ANNOUNCER: Hey, Huggy. Wanna cover $50 on The Cat's Meow?  
  
HUGGY: I'll take it.  
  
STARSKY: Uh, wait a sec. I'll-I'll bet, uh, ten on, uh, green.  
  
HUGGY: Lower the odds. Four to one.  
  
HUTCH: Huggy, Carnieri?  
  
HUGGY: Where does he hang out? I'll check him out.  
  
HUTCH: He doesn't hang out. He's dead. He went over a cliff in a laundry truck.  
  
HUGGY: You make that sound like it was on purpose.  
  
HUTCH: Well, it's starting to look that way.  
  
HUGGY: Well, he's got enemies. How about any friends?  
  
STARSKY: Well, that's what we want you to find out.  
  
HUGGY: I'll see what I can find out on the street.  
  
HUTCH: Okay, thanks.  
  
ANNOUNCER: They're in the gates.  
  
STARSKY: Wait a second.  
  
ANNOUNCER: The flag is up and they're off.  
  
STARSKY: Go, go, come on, come on. Come on, you little squeaker. That's it, go, go, go. Run, run, four legs. Go, go. You little mouse, go, go, go. Do it, do it, yeah.  
  
ANNOUNCER: And the winner is The Cat's Meow.  
  
STARSKY: Oh, dead last.  
  
HUTCH: Must have been a fix.  
  
HUGGY: Hey, Soon Henry was running true to form.  
  
STARSKY: Wait a minute. What kind of name is Soon Henry?  
  
HUGGY: Well, at the end of every race, the winner gets to eat the cheese. That way he carry's more weight at the next race. And that's how I fix- how I set the odds.  
  
HUTCH: Oh, that's very scientific, Huggy.  
  
HUGGY: Yeah, well your mouse always runs in front and then he dies at the wire. And then he looks up at me with his sad eyes and he seems to be saying: 'Huggy, when am I gonna win one?'. And I say-  
  
STARSKY: Soon, Henry. Wait a second.  
  
HUTCH: What?  
  
STARSKY: I got it.  
  
HUTCH: Oh, no.  
  
STARSKY: Will you just hold on.  
  
HUTCH: No.  
  
STARSKY: Next time he runs, 5 on the nose.  
  
HUGGY: That's a sporting man.  
  
HUTCH: Why'd you do that?  
  
STARSKY: Soon Henry is a sprinter.  
  
HUTCH: Or a quitter.  
  
STARSKY: What are you talking about?  
  
HUTCH: Well, there's one way to find out.  
  
Starsky: How's that?  
  
HUTCH: Find a very small jockey.  
  
STARSKY: Hey, where do you think he got those mice?  
  
HUTCH: Kentucky.  
  
STARSKY: Kentucky?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah, you've heard of Blue Cheese Country haven't you?  
  
STARSKY: Blue Cheese Country?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah, unless he got quarter mice the he got them-  
  
STARSKY: I know, Texas. Why don't I ever learn? What's the matter? Stuck?  
  
HUTCH: Yeah.  
  
STARSKY: That's strange. What? What?  
  
HUTCH: Stuck.  
  
STARSKY: Oh, you mean it's locked.  
  
HUTCH: Locked.  
  
STARSKY: Will you get out of the way. Hey, wait a second. You thinking what I'm thinking?   
  
HUTCH: Yeah.  
  
STARSKY: Somebody locked us in this room.  
  
HUTCH: It's an airtight room.  
  
STARSKY: What're you talking about?  
  
HUTCH: Did you see the sign up on the wall? 

STARSKY: Oh, no.  
  
HUTCH: Yeah.  
  
STARSKY: Got any ideas what we're gonna do about this?  
  
HUTCH: You got a pencil. Excuse me. Excuse me. Six by-  
  
STARSKY: Oh, I'm sorry.  
  
HUTCH: That's twenty.  
  
STARSKY: Twenty.  
  
HUTCH: That's about ten  
  
STARSKY: Ten. Wanna tell me why we're not talking to each other.  
  
HUTCH: I'm working. Okay. Now, if that's 10 by- 10 by 20 by 15 that's 3,000 cubic feet. Now, you're about uh- 150.  
  
STARSKY: No, 165.  
  
HUTCH: Will you stay out of this?  
  
STARSKY: Gee, sorry.  
  
HUTCH: 150 cubic centimeter lung size. Times two of us. Okay, let's see what we're got here. We've got- Figure about two breaths every six seconds. About two breaths, six seconds that would be twenty breaths. So that would be twenty breaths and double that would be 40 for a minute. Okay, now I've got, I've got about 20 times, for him-  
  
STARSKY: Excuse me.  
  
HUTCH: He's excited, so that's four. 6 would be 40. Take away one cubic foot. That's about 2700 cubic centimeters. 2700 cubic centimeters, so that's 3000, that's about-  
  
STARSKY: Excuse me.  
  
HUTCH: So that's 75. Seventy-five. About 7.5 litres per minute. That's 400. So figure, 60 times 75. Sixty is zero, five. That's about 9.000.  
  
HUTCH: Well, as near as I could figure we'd have about 185 hours in there before we suffocated.  
  
STARSKY: Give me that pencil.  
  
HUTCH: Or was that 1,850-  
  
STARSKY: You get the feeling someone's trying to kill us. Excuse me.  
  
HUTCH: You know something, Starsk.  
  
STARSKY: What?  
  
HUTCH: I don't think that was an airtight room.

Exterior - Night - In the Torino  
  
POLICE DISPATCHER: Zebra 3, see the man named Al Taft at the sports arena. He says he has information that is urgent. 

Interior - Night - Olympic Auditorium

STARSKY: Hey. 

HUTCH: Hey, Starsk?

STARSKY: Yeah?

HUTCH: You know that offer that Tessie made you, in two out of three falls? I hope you're not gonna take it. Al Taft!

STARSKY: What's that smell? 

HUTCH: Don't ask. Taft! Tell me he slipped on a bar of soap.

HUTCH: He slipped on a bar of soap.

STARSKY: Don't believe it.

HUTCH: Neither do I. All right, now Al Taft is dead, from a concussion. No more funny bruises on the neck. We're supposed to believe that he slipped and fell. We don't believe it.

FORBES: You tell me Johnson was murdered and a man named Carnieri, who I never even heard of, and now Al Taft. Somehow, all these killings are connected?

STARSKY: We believe they're connected.

FORBES: To this place?

HUTCH: Yes. We think so.

BOYCE: You think so? You as much as said we're involved in these murders. You think so? That isn't enough. I mean, if you're accusing us, we have a right to know the facts.

STARSKY: Nobody's accusing anybody. We're just looking for a way to tie these killings together.

FORBES: Look, I'd like to help. I really would. But I'm very tired and a little scared.

HUTCH: All right, Mrs. Forbes. We all know where we stand.

STARSKY: I didn't hear anybody say "we."

BELL: Can I go too?

HUTCH: Eddie? Eddie, you had an argument with Al Taft this afternoon, didn't you?

BELL: It was... - It was personal.

HUTCH: Not anymore, it isn't. Come on.

BELL: Al wanted to start booking me in some other cities, you know? For bigger bread. I didn't want that.

STARSKY: Because of Mrs. Forbes? Eddie, it's written all over your face.

BELL: I owe her. I mean, she gave me my break here. I told Al I'd stay here as long as she needed me. And this is where the good things are happening for me.

STARSKY: Good for you, not for Mac Johnson or Al Taft.

BELL: I am sorry Al is dead.

Interior - Night - Olympic Auditorium Office

FORBES: Hello? Starsky and Hutch? Oh, who's calling? Who? Just a moment. I'll see if they're still here. Oh, my God, you scared me.

STARSKY: Sorry. I wanted to ask you more questions. 

FORBES: Well, there's a phone call for you. Somebody named Huggy.

STARSKY: Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, Hug?

HUGGY: Hey, come on down. Hey< I got a friend of that guy, Carnieri's. I think he can lay something on you.

STARSKY: Good. Thanks. He got something. Ah... Come back.

HUTCH: Yeah. You gonna be around for a while?

FORBES: Oh, about two more hours. I've got a lot of book work to do.

STARSKY: See you in a bit.

BOYCE: This is Boyce. Listen, they're still digging into the Carnieri thing. No, no. They just left.  
But they'll be back. Okay, I'll send the security home. I'll wait outside. Right.

FORBES: Carl. Who were you talking to?

BOYCE: Nobody. Listen, Ellen, there's something I have to take care of something so why don't you run on home, and I'll close up.

FORBES: I heard you. Who were you talking to?

BOYCE: I said it was nobody. Run on home. Forget it.

FORBES: You're a little confused. I own this place, and you work for me, remember?

BOYCE: Yeah, I remember. And for the first time since you inherited this white elephant, we're out of the red and making money, big money because I've been handling it. Do you remember?

FORBES: The money that you loaned me to get this place solvent and to finance Eddie, where'd it come from?

BOYCE: You didn't ask me then. What are you asking now for?

FORBES: Because people have been getting killed and somehow, I think we're mixed up in it. Are we?

BOYCE: Quit pressing me, Ellen. Just leave it alone. I'll handle it.

FORBES: Is that all you're going to tell me?

BOYCE: Go home, Ellen.

Interior - Night - DePew's Meat Plant

HUGGY: Y'all gonna talk police business, I'll split. Oh. By the way, Starsky.

STARSKY: Yeah?

HUGGY: Soon Henry is Now Henry. 

STARSKY: He won?

HUGGY: It was a boat race. Everybody else was full of cheese.

STARSKY: Wait a minute. That was 5 bucks at nine to one. You owe me 50 bucks.

HUGGY: Well, I figure we dead even.

STARSKY: How do you figure that?

HUGGY: Well, I figured you owe me 50 bucks for the information. 

HUTCH: It's all right, Starsk. I'll buy you a cheese sandwich.

HAROLD: Cops. You don't look like cops to me.

HUTCH: Well, we believe in understatement.

HAROLD: All right, cops, what do you wanna know?

STARSKY: We wanna know about Carnieri.

HAROLD: Tommy Carnieri.

STARSKY: Tommy Carnieri. 

HAROLD: He was my buddy, you understand?

STARSKY: Sure.

HAROLD: All I know is that Tommy said someone was leaning on him.

HUTCH: Did he mention any names?

HAROLD: No. But he did say he might need some help if things got rough. Tommy was trying to get the linen contract at the Olympic. Tommy thought he had made low bid. Then they give the contract to another company. Tommy was gonna take them to court. Was.

STARSKY: We found the connection we're looking for.

HUTCH: A takeover. Concessions, parking, linen.

STARSKY: George Felton.

HUTCH: George Felton. And somebody on the inside.

STARSKY: Thanks.

HAROLD: Anytime, cops.

Interior - Night - Olympic Auditorium

BELL: I don't know what's happening, but I know it's wrong. If I don't get away, I'm gonna be wrong too. What I'm trying to say, Ms. Forbes...

HUTCH: Where is everybody?

STARSKY: Well, the main event ended an hour and a half ago.

HUTCH: Yeah, I know that.

STARSKY: I know, security.

HUTCH: Yeah.

STARSKY: Well, let's go in the main office and find out.

HUTCH: Yeah.

STARSKY: I always have trouble walking down these steps. (Gunfire.) What's going on? What's going on?

HUTCH: Where'd that come from?

STARSKY: Up there. What are we gonna do, huh?

HUTCH: Follow me.

STARSKY: What the hell are they doing?

HUTCH: I don't know.

STARSKY: Hey! Get down.

HUTCH: What's he doing?

STARSKY: He's making a move.

HUTCH: Let's go.

BELL: Boyce.

HUTCH: That's one.

STARSKY: That's one.

HUTCH: You got any plans?

STARSKY: What, right now?

HUTCH: No, tomorrow.

STARSKY: I'm gonna go take a look.

HUTCH: Yeah.

HUTCH: Drop it. Drop it!

(Fight ensues.) 

STARSKY: Hold it. Gotta work on your drop kick.

HUTCH: What are you talking about? I knocked him out of the ring.

STARSKY: It was was a great effort, Hutch. But it wasn't art. Get up. Pretty good, huh? Get up!

Interior - Day - Olympic Auditorium

BELL: I'm really glad I got to meet you two.

STARSKY: Yeah.

HUTCH: You're no fake.

BELL: Stay out of the ring.

STARSKY: Hey, behave yourself.

FORBES: I'm gonna miss him.

STARSKY: Yeah.

FORBES: You two feel like some dinner?

STARSKY: That's a terrific idea.

HUTCH: Ah... Cash.

FORBES: I'll buy.

HUTCH: Oh, now, that's a better idea.

TESSIE: Hi, sugarplum.

STARSKY: Hello.

HUTCH: Tessie, you look lovely. 

STARSKY: Yes. Got a nice blue dress. You got your hair done. 

TESSIE: Yeah.

STARSKY: Isn't that nice? What do you say, Tess, you wanna go two falls out of three?

HUTCH: How about dinner for four?

TESSIE: Oh. 

STARSKY: What? Did you say dinner for...?

HUTCH: Four.

STARSKY: You hungry?

TESSIE: Always. But I can't go.

STARSKY: Why not?

TESSIE: When I told Iggy I wanted to date you, it was narrowed down to a matter of two choices.

STARSKY: Oh, what were they?

TESSIE: Kill you or marry me. Iggy, tell him what you decided.

STARSKY: Iggy, don't do anything rash. I've been known to carry tana leaves. What do I do?

HUTCH: Run.

IGGY: Tovarish. 

TESSIE: That means "friend."

STARSKY: Yeah? How do I get down from here?

TESSIE: It's an old Russian custom.

STARSKY: Tovarish. 

HUTCH: Both sides, Starsk.

STARSKY: What?

END


End file.
